Penny Arcade: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness: Episode One is an introduction to the gritty metropolis of New Arcadia, circa 1922. From a bird's eye view perspective you catch a glimpse inside the window of the the Startling Developments Detective Agency, where the protagonists of Penny Arcade are seen in their Depression era threads. Gabe is practicing jabs on a dangling punching bag, while Tycho is seated in a leather armchair, turning the pages of an antique manuscript. The view shifts to a gargoyles perched on the side of the brownstone building, the camera descending into a grime-streaked alleyway. There you are invited to create your custom-made character. Choosing gender, body-type, facial features and various articles of clothing, your avatar will appear in the game's flash animation sequences exhibiting the characteristics you just selected.
You start off in a sleepy suburban neighborhood outside the black heart of New Arcadia, dubbed Desperation Street. Dusk is setting in and the autumn trees are shedding rust-colored leaves. A mysterious, genteel narrator welcomes you to your bleak surroundings, begging you kindly not to dwell too deeply on his mysterious identity. He importunes you to to rake yon leave-strewn front lawn so as to bring Desperation's cul-de-sac into closer alignment with modern civilization.
Clicking on the rake, your character takes it up and heads over do some gardening, but before the unruly foliage can be brought under any semblance of order, your activities are interrupted by a sudden roar. A towering iron giant appears and mercilessly stomps on your house, smashing it to smithereens. The robot as it heads down Desperation Street is pursued by two strange men. You are urged by the mysterious narrator to follow the monstrosity. Your character, shrugging off the shock, responds "Alright disembodied voice, let's do this."
Finding a wood crate in the road, you can smash it with your gardening implement to gain a bandage, which will heal a quarter of your HP in battle. A clanking sound becomes audible nearby as you make your way down the road. The narrator informs you that the small metal creatures in your path are a new phenomenon in New Arcadia–their carnal urge for fresh fruit leads them to tiny acts of vulgarity. The "fruit fuckers," as they are known, will bark angry strings of binary code at you as you approach. The screen splits, the upper frame showing a still shot of the 3D computer graphics, while the bottom frame depicts a 2D artistic rendering of the characters more closely resembling the webcomic.
Upon encountering the enemy, evocative words in huge font like "PERIL!" or "MAYHEM!" or "HUGE TEXT!" will pop up on the screen, alerting you to the oncoming rush of enemies. The robots will hobble up to you and assault your character with dealy bobber attacks or send a stream of searing citric acid shooting from their fruit-juicing nether regions. If you hit the space bar at just the right time, you can block their attacks, or even counter without taking any damage. You'll know when to hit the space bar by keeping an eye on the enemy's hitpoint gauge, which will flash at the precise moment when you should make your move. Once your attack bar has filled up, you can swat one of the robots over the head with your rake. After a couple hits, each metallic foe explodes into a cloud of smoke, leaving behind a cylindrical piece of scrap metal. These spare parts can be collected to upgrade your weapons.
Following the giant robot treads in the dirt road, you can knock over trash cans to retrieve items like bottles of weak sauce, a condiment so mediocre that when used in battle it will render your opponents harmless. By one of the houses you find a curled up cat, which you can recruit as a support character. At first it seems not to know what to make of you, but by selecting the option of purring at it gently, "T. Kemper" will rub your calf cheerfully. The cat appears to be useless in these initial phases of the game, lazy even by cat standards, but will likely be of some use further along in the quest.
Passing by the park you encounter a tree surrounded by a ring of pink flowers, which has hanging from its branches some oranges you can collect. Once a battle with the robots has been initiated, you can toss one of the fruits to the side of the screen, and the machines will be positively haunted by its ripeness. So preoccupied with juicing their find are the robots, you can walk right up and swat them with impunity. Having succeeded in using the oranges as a clever ruse, you will be treated to a Grand Slam attack, which can be initiated by pressing the space bar four times in sequence during battle. Properly timed, you will use the rake baseball bat style to deal a powerful blow against enemies.
Outside Desperation Elementary you will meet the two strangers following the robot. You can gain their attention by waving your arms, as they are deeply engaged in speculating as to whether or not the strange creature they are pursuing is a yeti. You discover that these two specialize in tracking down tainted artifacts and thwarting ancient, evil Gods. "Sometimes both!" they claim, cheerfully. The two introduce themselves as Tycho Erasmus Brahe and John Gabriel of the Startling Developments Detective Agency. You declare that you will be coming along, since the monstrosity they are pursuing trashed your house. Gabe and Tycho are willing to let you in on the vengeance, and even offer you a robot-free place to crash in their office.
Gabe immediately gains the Unsporting Conduct special attack, which is initiated by rapidly pressing the spacebar to fill up a red meter, then tapping it again as a falling white bar passes over the target zone. Gabe and Tycho also have a special combo attack called "What Goes Up," which involves Tycho hoisting his partner into the air so the brawler falls upon the enemy while delivering a potent dose of the fisticuffs. Tycho, for his part, has a tommy gun in one hand and a hardcover tome in the other. When it is time for him to attack, he throws the book up in the air, plugs the enemy with hot lead, and deftly catches his reading material on the way down.
At the end of the road you encounter a pack of robots by a derelict gasoline stand. The machines creepily contend that you are on their to-do list. Combat begins with the players rolling a 20-sided D&D dice roller for initiative. Once the enemies have been dispatched, their leader, discernible by the red light bulb on top his head, shows up firing nuts and bolts from his barrel. The boss will also make lascivious use of your leg if you let it. Now might be a good time to make use of the extra orange found on the ground outside the Desperation park. A few hits and a special attack are enough to deactivate the villainous automaton and cause it to explode. The narrator bids you adieu, sending you like mewling babes on your way toward the rain-slick precipice of darkness. At this point you can click the Startling Developments icon in the upper right corner, unlocking a new case, called "Up From the Ashes."
Images courtesy of Hothead Games.
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Back from the Twilight Zone Tower Of Terror at Disneyland, among other things, and am amused by how much Ion Storm’s old offices (I think - see left!) actually remind me of it in that picture.
